I Was Wrong About Blankets and Wine!


By Ian Ortega

I have a confession to make, I was wrong, totally wrong about Blankets and Wine. From the onset I had written off Blankets and Wine as one event where the snobbish of the town came together, where those with arrivalism syndrome came to have a party. I had all my millions of biases about Blankets and Wine, I even infected my friends with these biases. I am now coming out to say, I was a million times wrong. And I am sorry to all those I brainwashed.

Here’s the story; I have always given out my tickets to Blankets and Wine. I get them in tens, I give all out. Now it did happen that this time round I had already given out my fair share of tickets to friends, to family, to my teams, to everyone that deserves one. Then as I was flagging off my awesome friend Harvey, it turns out everyone he was going with had some emergency that had just popped up.

So Harvey is like; “Ian, just come we go for Blankets.” I look back in shock and respond; “Dude are you even sober? You know I never do Blankets and I will never do it.” They say, be careful what thou speaketh against. I spent my whole life swearing against alcohol. Now here I am I can’t do without a sip or two.

Harvey insisted; “Ian, let’s just go, do just one hour then head out.” Harvey has this convincing tongue. He could convince you to board a bus to America. Yes, a bus to America. Anyway. I realise Harvey is not about to give up. I begin throwing excuse after excuse. I begin proposing the other different people who were already waiting for him at Blankets. Finally, it hits me that the thing I always swore against is about to happen. I make up my mind and decide; “okay let me go to Blankets and Wine.”

Shower, get a random shirt and trouser, random casual shoes and off we head out to Blankets. A wise man once told me that the best things in life are those you never plan for. The best journeys are those I never planned for. The best relationships are those that just happened. Like I am talking to this girl and before we know it, we are in love, we are dating and we are rocking that love boat.

So we get to Blankets. Chaps are carrying their drinks, all tribes of whiskeys, vodkas, name it all. We enter. Then the greetings begin. Hey Ian, Hey Harvey. Harvey meets four people. I meet eight. Then Harvey meets ten. It was a meeting competition. Then some people I work with. I decided these I was gonna avoid. Like what the heavens, I will see these same chaps on the other days. I am here to explore.

Then voila, darkness is coming. I am binging on cocktails. From the Johnnie Ginger to the Apple to everything that exists. I am being called to different tents. I go to the Johnnie Walker tent. Most chaps here are sitting. Those who know me well, know that I enjoy a good dance, I am free. I surprise many people. Because once I feel the music, then I forget the world around me. I just reply to the music with my body.

Finally, I settle for a spot in the centre, meet some more friends, then more friends, then chaps I have no idea about. Then I am become a magnet, my signature style, my dope dance moves and of course, not forgetting my line; “rich, handsome and intelligent.” The last time I dropped that line, some dude almost smashed a bottle on my head. It is the most annoying line for those without inner peace.

I dance to the Roots performance, I dance to the Deejay’s mix, to The Ben and finally to Fik Fameica. You should have seen my Skonto moves. I swear my only worry is that chaps have already copied all my moves. I found the ladies very free. I didn’t even have to ask for a dance. Ladies were just giving free dabs. Everyone wanted to have me on their snapchat, their whatsapp statuses. I was being broadcast live. People were asking for my autographs. We meet Apass, the only other guy with inner peace and we are like we want to buy off the rights to your album. We spend 30 minutes talking and talking until I get this shocker that it was the cocktails talking.

Next thing I knew it was coming to midnight. I could not believe; all I knew was that I was coming for just an hour. Here I was, time had run so fast. I had no idea. Let me say this, Blankets and Wine is the bestest thing after Nyege Nyege. And you only get to enjoy Blankets and Wine if you have deep inner peace. For starters, avoid the tents, you will just land on some chaps seated enjoying a drink while locked on their phones. If you want the best of Blankets, avoid the tents. Because my only moments of boredom were those moments I wasted in the tents. Plastic convos. Go to the real central gathering, spread the love, fly so high and just let loose.

So yes, Blankets and Wine, forgive me for judging a book by its cover. I am now signed to the cult. And to know that I had the best of the times, I have not a single photo or video recording of my moment there. That’s how I judge great events. They are too great that you don’t even have time for your phone.

For those planning to attend the next edition of Blankets and Wine, I will be offering induction classes at a fee. I don’t want you to get there and look clueless. Not everyone of you is as smart, as rich, as intelligent and as handsome as Ian. You must take these lessons. Kiri mu mateeka. I hereby declare myself the best guy at the 19th edition of Blankets and Wine. If you are trying to challenge this, then you are not sober!!!

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